I love

I always thought I have to be special in order to be loved.

To have a value - I thought - I have to live like no one else. I have to think like no one else. I have to "be" like no one else... All or nothing - I thought. So I started to grow a deep desire for uniqueness inside me that made me terrified to the point I couldn't even talk about it.

Am I remarkable? What if I don't?

Most of the things I tried to achieve in my life was motivated by this great fear and desire. I saw them holding hands - my deepest dreams and greatest fears - every day, yet I wished it over and over again until I was pushing my limits. And then I failed.

And every time I fell back I thought: maybe that's the only thing I'm good at. Maybe I'm just unremarkable and that's it.

I've already seen and heard so many things. Most of them were lies.

But now I know:

Love makes people remarkable.

I'm still struggling with the feeling that I have to be special in order to be loved. But now I know it's not true, even if sometimes it sounds very real to me.

I'm an unusual girl, but most of all: I love.

I love and I am loved.

And that's what really matters.